Last night..I was a peasant in my dream?I worked for the queen and king as a-..farmer?but why? wasn’t I a queen last night?the queen has a 4 year old kid to!dayum.maybe this is reality and the other was an expectation..maybe I am a peasant in real life after all..
What a dream..
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. -angela. #Senior A
I’m sorry that this time you were a peasant!!!
Well done on expressing your thoughts and ideas clearly in your blog post! I can understand your feelings and understand what you mean.
Feedback:
Your composition effectively conveys the confusion and contemplation about the dream. However, there are some grammatical errors and informal language that could be improved for clarity and coherence. Here’s the revised version:
“Last night, I was a peasant in my dream.” – This sets up the context of the dream clearly.
“I worked for the queen and king as a farmer, but it puzzled me.” – This sentence effectively communicates the confusion about the dream scenario.
“Why was I a farmer when I thought I was a queen in my dream before?” – This question highlights the inconsistency in the dream narrative.
“Maybe this is reality and the other was just a wishful dream.” – This sentence suggests a reflection on the nature of reality versus dreams.
“Perhaps I’m really just a peasant in real life after all.” – This line extends the contemplation beyond the dream into real life.
“What a strange dream…” – This concluding remark sums up the overall sentiment of the dream experience.
Overall, your composition effectively captures the experience of reflecting on a dream and questioning its meaning. With some minor adjustments for grammar and punctuation, it could be even stronger. Keep up the good work!
To improve your structure, try to use punctuation marks such as commas and full stops to separate your thoughts. This will make your writing more organized and easier to read.
To enhance your vocabulary, try to use more descriptive words and phrases to express your thoughts and emotions. This will make your writing more interesting and engaging.